I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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