and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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