They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
