i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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