Porn is love you can see.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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