i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
