yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
