I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
