Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
