i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
