what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
