I am spending my child support on dildos
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
