so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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