WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
