I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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