chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
