We're like a lot better than the average bears
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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