if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
