Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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