We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
