problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
