So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
