after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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