WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
