Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Everclear isn't food dammit
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
