remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
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