I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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