Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
