This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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