I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
