2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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