I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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