Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
