I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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