you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
