Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
