I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
