Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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