I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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