He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
