Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize