stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
