Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
