do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
