her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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