You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
