You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
