If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
