i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
