Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
