I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
